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There is a pattern of family responsibilities that is upheld by our religion: the husband works outside the home to provide for the family and the mother works inside the home to nurture the family. Of course not every family in our church fits this mold, but it is held as an ideal to work around.
This pattern has never made more sense to me than now, after I have had a couple years of full-time work under my belt. Sheesh! It's exhausting. After a day of long hard work, the last thing I feel like doing is cooking dinner, or cleaning a bathroom, or washing the dishes, or running errands. And after a week of work, the last thing I feel like doing on Saturday is cleaning a kitchen, or doing laundry, or planning healthy meals, or going grocery-shopping. And I am certainly not putting any energy into learning how to beautify our home, cook, bake, decorate, flower garden, vegetable garden, sew, can foods, or grind my own wheat to make my own bread.
And so a lot of these things get a little bit neglected (or completely neglected), as Chad and I both work full-time. And although life is wonderful and we are happy, I really look forward to the day when I can put more energy into the things listed above, because I think it will really add to our quality of life. But I digress, the real point of this post was supposed to be...
It makes sense that someone be in charge of the household duties, because when you're working out of the house all day, you don't really feel like working in the house when you get home at night--I don't even feel like doing half of the household duties when I get home from work.
Some day I will be a full-time mom and homemaker. Two years ago I wished I already was a full-time mom and homemaker. But part of me is glad and grateful it didn't happen then. And this is one of the (many) reasons: the last two years have helped me appreciate what working full-time is like. How tiring it is, emotionally and physically and mentally. And how challenging it is to leave work at work, and not bring it home with you. So when I am a full-time mom and homemaker, I will hopefully better understand the weight Chad's work puts on his shoulders, and hopefully be a more supportive wife to him because of it.
**Disclaimer: In writing this post, the only person I had in mind was myself. I promise, I am not even thinking about how you and yours divide up family responsibilities. Obviously, I'm too tired to think about it! :)
5 comments:
It's amazing how tiring it is it work full time. I so relate to this post. When Curt lost his job and I went back to work full time while he searched for a job, I re-remembered how draining it was to be in the office all day and then come home to household chores.
I really appreciated him a lot more. While I dealt with the stresses of work, politics at the office, etc., he was here nurturing our kids. The role reversal taught us both A LOT.
After a few years of being at home, I thought my days at home were harder than what he was doing at work (after all, he got to go out to lunch every day and not eat PB&J or Mac and Cheese with the kids!)
I think both jobs are hard in their own way - being at work full time - or being at home full time.
We sure do love you. Hang in there with all the full time work you do!
I couldn't agree more about how much work it is to work full time! I think I'm often way too hard on myself because I don't have a gorgeous garden and I don't cook delicious made-from-scratch dinner every night and some months I don't even do my visiting teaching. It's so easy to compare myself with the moms that I know that do stay home full-time.
I agree with you too, that working full-time gives you a much different perspective on what it means to come home from work. I don't know if I'll ever be the one home full-time, but if I am, I think I'll have a better understanding of what it means to come home from work. (And maybe Ben will have a better understanding of what it means to do the laundry and cook dinner!)
I cannot imagine working full-time and then coming home and taking care of the at-home responsibilities. Exhausting! But you do a good job, Abbi. I think you are awesome.
Yup, life is not easy, no matter where you work, in home or out. It is such a good thing to understand what your spouse faces and try to give support where you can.
I love this post and I fully Fully agree. I have seen in it in all varieties and I have been so blessed to be full time Mom when it's time and full time work when it's time and Combination of all. We appreciate things better from all views.
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